My Immortal
by TwoStepsBehind
Summary: Now as she stood outside this house, she felt the same emotions running through her. Sequel to Dying. Liz's thoughts on returning to Grimmauld Place.Please Read and Review. Oneshot.


**A/N: **This is a sequel to my previously written story. This is set during the OOTP. Hope you enjoy the story, please do review.

**Disclaimer:** I own none of this but the plot and my oc.

The song is my Evanescence.

The characters that you recognized are owned by J. K. Rowling.

My Immortal

She walked up the worn stone steps, looking everywhere but at the black door with its silver knocker in the form of a twisted serpent. Taking hold of the knocker, she hit it against the door twice. While waiting for someone to open the door, she couldn't help but think of the last time she was there. It was just after his graduation, he had to come back here for the reading of his uncle's will. He had been so nervous, so angry, so depressed and so scared. He was nervous 'cause he hadn't seen his family in a while, they hated him, and he had run away, surely they weren't going to welcome him with open arms; angry 'cause I had insisted on accompanying him, I was muggle-born after all and that the will was being read in the house he hated; depressed, well after seeing the house and meeting his family, she didn't blame him, it was all depressing, also it brought back memories of all those painful years; scared for her, she was muggle-born and they were going to his parents house. But thinking back, she thought that Sirius was scared of being in that house, scared that the darkness that he had fought back all these years might finally consume him. Now as she stood outside this house, she felt the same emotions running through her.

**I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by your childish fears**

The door opened. It was Remus. She looked up at him. And stared. She hadn't seen him in some 13 years. He looked the same, with the tired young face prematurely aged. The pained amber eyes, the brownish-grey hair. "Elizabeth." "Remus." And then, just like that, they both moved in together for a hug. And she knew then that there wasn't any bad blood between them. He didn't blame her.

He moved away and she stepped over the threshold. She had been here only once before and yet she remembered every single detail of the place. The hall was in total darkness. She could smell the damp and the dust; the sweetish, rotting smell; the place had the feeling of a neglected building. She shifted, scratching the back of her right hand uncomfortably. Remus nodded and then she heard the soft hissing noise of old fashioned gas lights sputtering to life, casting insufficient light over the peeling wall paper and thread-bare carpet. The hallway was long, gloomy with a chandelier covered with cobwebs glimmering overhead and old, blackened portraits hanging loosely on the walls. This place had been depressing when it had been inhabited all those years ago, but now, with the abandoned feel to it, this place was downright morbid. She hated this place, just as he did.

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

"Why here, Remus? What is going on?" she had to ask.

"Why don't you go wait in the ball room, you remember where that is, don't you? I'll be with you soon. There are something things that need my attention and we can't start since Dumbledore isn't here yet. I'll be with you as soon as possible. You'll be fine on your own, won't you?" He added as an after-thought seeing the way she was eying the hallway. She turned to look at him, he could see the uncertainty in her blue eyes, but he also saw resolution. She nodded and gave him a small smile. "Hurry back. We could talk a little before Albus gets here. Then I want answers." Lupin smiled, and started to walk away, in the direction of the kitchen, if Liz remembered the place correctly. He turned around after taking a couple and steps and said, "It's good to see you, Liz", and walked off. She remembered walking down the same hallway with him, to the same room. He had his hand in the small of her back, gently steering her.

'**Cause your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone**

Liz walked into the ball room, her boots clicking on the floor, magicked to stay polished forever. Even with the place's morbid appearance, the ball room took her breath away, just like it did all those years ago. It was huge, enormous. Huge full length windows let the sunlight in, lighting up the place, making it seem less morbid than the rest of the house. Three chandeliers hung from the ceiling, tapestries adorned the walls. They all were worn out and dirty, yet there was something about this room that made this house almost bearable for her. In the corner of one room sat a huge, grand piano. Not knowing how long Remus would take, the impatience and want to play the piano took over and she made her way to the piano. She took of her coat and placed it on the piano, then blowing off the dust off the keys, and dusting the seat; she sat down and softly caressed the keys. She closed her eyes and let her fingers play what they wanted.

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**

**I held your hand though all of these years**

She thought of how much she hated this place and how much she didn't want to. She hated this place partly 'cause he hated it so much and partly because she had seen for herself how much this place, its people affected him. She didn't want to hate the place simply because he hated it, but it was hard not to. The darkness of the place even back then was so overpowering, so tangible. She was surprised at how he had managed to fend it off, managed to have his own beliefs, his own ideals, that were so contradictory to this house. She had seen him fight off the evil when he entered the place. He faced the problem of his family, his back ground every single day. As he had entered the room, seen his parents, his "family" his grip on her hand had tightened. The roles were reversed, he needed her comfort. When he heard that Regulus had joined the Death-Eaters, he had been angry; very angry. But underneath all that anger was pain; pain that he couldn't make his own brother see light. And when they had found out that Regulus had died, he had pretended to be unperturbed. But in the middle of the night she had felt him get out of bed and dress. Quietly she had followed him, to a cemetery. There for the first time in her life, she had seen Sirius Black break down. He had screamed and cursed, and she had come out and tentatively put her hand on his shoulder. That small gesture made something inside him snap, and the dam broke. Being the night of first times, she had seen Sirius Black cry for the first time in his life. Not knowing what to do, she had just held him. Held him while he cried for his brother. For his family. For his loss. He was truly one of the bravest people she had ever met.

**But you still have all of me**

She didn't even realize that she had started to sing.

**You used to captive me **

**By your resonating light**

She had noticed Sirius from the very beginning. On her first day at Hogwarts, she had seen this handsome boy sitting besides a messy haired boy with glasses, laughing about something. She had always wanted to know what they had been laughing about, but never got the chance to find out. There was something about that laugh; it seemed forced and yet very natural at the same time. There was something in his eyes that always made them appear stormy. Something about the smile that always was a smirk. Slowly as she got to know him, the laugh had become natural, the eyes appeared calm and he smiled genuinely. He was a guarded person, but somehow she had lowered his defenses. Maybe it was her problems that made him realize that they were similar, that he could talk to her. Or maybe it was the need for him to talk to someone and she had just been the right person at the right time. She never knew.

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

She didn't know so many things about him. So many things that she never asked. She had taken their time together for granted, thinking that they had the rest of their lives for such trivial questions. But it was those trivial questions that she never asked that kept her awake at night. She had never asked what his first prank had been. She didn't know the origin of the name 'Snivellus'. She didn't know when he had got his first broom. She wanted to know why he had betrayed Lily and James. She wanted to know, know so much.

Two tears rolled down her cheek, and her voice wavered a little.

**Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice has chased away all of the sanity in me**

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

Every time she thought of his betrayal and the murders of those innocent muggles, of Peter, she tried to hate him. But then when she was just about to, the picture of Sirius holding Harry for the first time would pop up in her mind. The look of pure joy, the happiness and the almost child-like glee and excitement, it still threw her off. Lily and James were arguing about whether the baby's name was going to be Preston (Lily's choice. As much as I loved her, I have to admit, she was pretty weird.) or James the second (James the pompous' choice). She had been standing on the side watching the entire scene with contentment, amazed at the normalcy and troubled 'cause this family was hunted by the most feared wizard. Sirius had been holding the baby and cooing (yes, indeed, cooing) "What about Harry?" he had said. "What?" Lily had snapped the hormones still raging in her. "Well the little guy looks like a Harry to me." "Harry James Potter," said James, testing the sound of the name. He looked at Lily and they both nodded. The baby was saved from future torments regarding his name. Sirius had saved the day.

She wanted to hate him for the double life he led, for the torment he had put them all through. The look on Sirius' face when he was asked to be Harry's god-father invaded her thoughts, it was just… inexplicable. That look always came to her mind when she wanted to hate him for the destruction he had caused. The image of a Sirius sleeping on the couch with baby Harry, curled up on his stomach, sleeping on Sirius' chest, would spring to mind, and it would make it impossible for her to believe that Sirius was guilty.

She remembered a time when Harry refused to sleep. Lily and James had done everything, from feeding him warm milk to walking around swinging him to lull him to sleep, but the tyke was bent on bugging them that night. James had poured a sleeping draught into his milk and was ready to feed him when Sirius and she jumped in and said they'd try. She had held him close to her chest, and started to sway a little and Sirius had stood behind her, looking over her shoulder into Harry's eyes and started to sing. Yeah, Harry turned Sirius into a walking talking(here it would be singing) baby licking machine. Sirius had a deep baritone singing voice that was working on Harry. Or maybe he just liked us better than his parents, who knew. All the mattered was that in 5 minutes he was out like a light.

Sometimes the memory of that voice lulls me to sleep too. And sometimes I hear the voice when I answer the phone, or in the crowd, making my heart pound.

**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**

**I held your hand though all of these years**

**But you still have all of me**

Now that I think about it, I'm surprised that Sirius was able to fight the darkness that had surrounded him for this long. A part of me wasn't surprised to know that he had succumbed to the evil. But that was the part that was just bitter with all the destruction around me. He had seemed so strong, what had gone wrong?

**I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

**But though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along**

Twelve years, I've spent twelve years tormenting myself with the 'what if's'. Those years were better than the past year she had lived knew he was out there somewhere. She had seen the news of his escape on the television since she had been cut off from the magical world for, well, twelve years. That somehow made her hope even more. Hoping she would see that now wasted once handsome face somewhere in the crowd, or that huge bear like dog animagus of his.

She went about her day, saving lives, seeing the people she treated being cared for by their loved ones; seeing that they weren't alone made her wish that she wasn't this alone.

He had done this to her. From the moment he first kissed her, heck, from the first moment he looked into her eyes with his piercing gaze, she had felt something stir violently in her stomach. She should have known then, falling in love with him, it was going to be intense. Sirius Black, when he loved, he loved fiercely. She still felt the lingering affects of that love.

She struck the last chord, and trailed off.

**When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears**

**I held your hand though all of these years**

**But you still have all of me, me**

Hearing the sound of clapping, she opened her eyes. She saw Albus standing at the door. Just the sight of Albus, made her heart lighter. She hadn't seen the man in almost fifteen years, yet now, after all these years, she felt the way she always felt around him, she felt warm and protected. She felt something she hadn't felt in a long time, but now looking into her god-father's twinkling blue eyes, she felt hope.

**A/N: **I hope you guys liked it. Tell me about it. If you didn't like it, still tell me about it. Please, it would really mean a lot to me. Thanks.


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